One Lifetime Is Not Enough
by BettyHall223
Summary: Theirs is a love like no other and now Sam is seriously ill. She and Jack must deal with the problems of aging. Character death.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are not my property. No copyright infringement is intended._

Sam came out of the cabin to see Jack sitting in his usual chair on the dock, legs crossed at the ankles, wearing his baseball cap, fishing rod in hand. She took a step off the porch, using her cane to lean on as she heard the door open behind her.

"Mom, what are you doing out of bed?" Grace asked as she hurriedly came to stand beside her.

"If I have to stay in that bed and cooped up in the cabin for one more minute, I'm going to scream."

"But the doctor says you need to rest and take it easy."

"I can rest on the dock beside your father. Now help me down there."

Grace knew not to argue when her mother's mind was made up. Sam slipped her arm through Grace's as they slowly walked down to the dock.

The family had planned this vacation months ago, and Sam was determined that nothing was going to spoil it. She had been released from the hospital in Colorado Springs just a week ago after having a mastectomy. The family had tried to tell her that she needed to stay home and rest but she wouldn't hear of it. So she and Jack had ridden to the cabin with Grace and her husband, Jim, and their 9 year old twins, Samantha (nicknamed Sammie) and Jon.

Jack sat staring into the calm water, hardly aware of the fishing rod in his hand. His mind was on Sam. After all these years of marriage, she still took his breath away. Her hair was now as white as new fallen snow and although she now had lines in her face, she grew more beautiful to him with each passing day and her smile could still light up a room.

Just two years ago, she had had to have hip replacement surgery and now lived with the pain of arthritis in the other hip, and was now recuperating from the surgery to have her breast removed. He knew Sam was a strong woman but was wondering how much more she could take. He took a deep breath as tears came to his eyes when he thought about the possibility of outliving her, even though she was several years younger than him. He was in relatively good health for a man in his 80's but knew that if Sam should die before him, he didn't know how he would cope without her. After so many years of repressed feelings, they had finally admitted their love for each other. During the small window of time that Sam was not in his chain of command, they had married, just before he had taken the job as Director of Homeworld Security. Sam stayed on at the SGC and found out she was pregnant just two months after they had wed. A few weeks before Grace was born, he had retired and moved back to the Springs to be with his family. Sam continued to work part-time in her lab after giving birth to Grace, but resigned nine months later when they found out she was pregnant with Jake. She realized her family was more important and had been surprised how much she enjoyed just being a wife and mother, and he loved having her around all the time.

The Stargate had become public knowledge just before he had resigned and SG-1 had become famous, although the attention had died away, much to his relief. Teams still traveled to different planets and had made several allies, but there were still bad guys out there to fight.

General Hammond had lived a long life and had died peacefully in his sleep at the age of 90.

Teal'c and Ishta had married but he and Sam rarely saw their close friend. Old age was finally catching up with Teal'c as well.

Daniel had taught at Harvard University for years but had resigned when he had suffered a serious heart attack. Only recently he had informed them that he was in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. He now lived in the Springs in an assisted living community. He had never remarried, feeling that Sha're had been the love of his life.

Jack heard the two women talking behind him so he sat up straighter in his chair and gripped the fishing rod. Sam sat down in the chair beside him.

"Hi, baby" Jack said as he smiled at Sam.

"Hi, handsome" Sam said as she winked at him and smiled.

Grace grinned at their terms of affection.

Jack laid the fishing rod down on the dock and moved his chair closer to Sam's. He took her hand in his and softly kissed it and they looked into each other's eyes.

Grace could see the emotions pass between them and knew it was time to leave them alone, so she left to walk back to the cabin. About half way back, she turned around to look at them. They were still staring into each other's eyes, talking quietly, as they held hands.

Grace stepped up on the porch, turned around and watched. Jack raised his arm and put it around Sam and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"What are you looking at?" Jim asked as he came out of the cabin and put his arms around her waist.

Grace rested her arms on her husband's as she leaned against him. "My parents. After all these years they are still so much in love with each other."

"Yeah, it has always been quite evident" Jim said as he hugged his wife tighter.

Just then, the twins came around the corner of the cabin.

"Mom, when's lunch?" Jon asked. "We're starved."

"Just as soon as one of you volunteers to help me get everything together" Grace answered.

"We'll both help" Sammie said as she grabbed her brother's hand and pulled him into the cabin and Grace and Jim followed.

Down at the dock, Jack laid his head on top of Sam's and gently rubbed his hand up and down her arm.

"How ya doin'?"

"A little sore and a little tired but I'm okay."

"Sure you don't need to be in bed?"

"I'm sure. Being cooped up in the cabin was driving me crazy. I'd much rather be sitting here with you."

Jack smiled. "I like nothing better than having you here beside me."

They were silent for a few minutes, as they watched the sun sparkle on the tranquil lake.

"Are you dreading having the chemo treatments?" Jack hesitantly asked.

"I'm not looking forward to them but I'll follow my doctor's orders and have them in case they missed any of the cancer."

"I think it's a good idea. You know, we really haven't had a chance to talk since your surgery, with all the family and friends around."

Sam raised her head from his shoulder and looked at him.

"Is there something you want to talk about?"

"I was just uh . . . wondering . . ."

"What, Jack?"

"How do you feel about losing your breast?"

"If it saved my life and got rid of the cancer, then I'll deal with it. In another way, it upsets me. When a woman loses a breast, it's like losing part of her femininity."

"I don't think you're any less feminine" he said, trying to make her feel better. "You're the most feminine, attractive woman I've ever known and it doesn't bother me, honey."

She smiled and placed her hand on his cheek and softly patted it as she looked at him. He was still as handsome to her now as the day they had met. His hair was white now instead of the silver that she had always loved. He had more wrinkles in his face but he still had that beautiful smile that made her heart flutter whenever he looked at her in that special way that let her know how much he loved her. His deep brown eyes were still full of intelligence and mischief. She thanked God for each day they had had together and knew that every hour they still had together was precious to them both. She once again laid her head on Jack's shoulder as they sat in silence.

In the cabin, the kids placed napkins, plates and silverware on the table as Grace and Jim prepared the food. Soon it was time to eat.

"Sammie, would you go get your grandparents please?" Grace asked.

"Sure, Mom" she said as she ran out the door and down to the dock and came to stand in front of her grandparents. Sammie smiled when she saw them. Sam had her head on Jack's shoulder and he had laid his head on tops of hers. Both had their eyes closed and they were holding hands. She wished she had a camera to take their picture.

"Grandma, Grandpa" Sammie said as she gently placed a hand on each of their shoulders.

Jack opened his eyes and lifted his head from Sam's.

Sam opened her eyes and smiled at her granddaughter.

"Mom said to come get you. Lunch is ready."

Jack stood and held out his hands to help Sam stand up and he put his arm around her waist as they slowly walked to the cabin. Once inside they all sat down to eat at the large table.

"When are Jake and Melanie supposed to arrive?" Jim asked.

"Should be here any time" Jack answered.

Melanie had called to let them know they were on their way. Jack and Sam were supposed to have ridden to the cabin with them since they lived in Colorado Springs, but Jake had been delayed off-world in treaty negotiations with another race, and he wasn't sure when he would make it back to Earth, so they had gone on ahead to Minnesota with Jim and Grace.

Jake was in the Air Force stationed at Cheyenne Mountain at the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. He led one of the SG teams and had met Melanie there. She was three years older than Jake and worked as a nurse in the infirmary. Melanie's first husband had been on an SG team and had been killed off-world when she was pregnant with their first child, Kristine. Jake had adopted Kristine when they had married and she was now 10 years old. Jake and Melanie had a son, 8 year old Patrick.

Jack and Jake had renovated the cabin several years ago. With a growing family, they needed two more bedrooms, in addition to the original two. One had a queen size bed and the other had bunk beds for the grandchildren. Whenever all the family got together, all the bedrooms were used and someone usually ended up sleeping on the pullout sofa in the living room.

They had just set down to eat, when Jon happened to see someone come up on the porch.

"They're here!" he said as he ran to the front door to let them in.

They came into the kitchen and there were lots of hugs and handshakes.

Jake gently hugged Sam. "How are you, Mom?"

"I'm okay. Little sore but being with all of you makes me feel better" she said with a grin.

"So glad you could make it" Sam said as she hugged Melanie.

"Me too. The kids have really been looking forward to spending time with their cousins."

"Grandma" Patrick said as he hugged Sam and she returned the hug.

"Grandpa, it's so good to see you" Kristine said as she hugged Jack and he wrapped his arms around her in a big bear hug.

"Hi, Grandpa" Patrick asked.

"Hi, Patrick" Jack said with a smile as he hugged him tightly.

Jack put one arm around Patrick and the other around Jon. "My two favorite grandsons" he said with a grin.

"Grandpa, we're your only grandsons" Patrick said.

"Oh yeah, that's right. Well, you know, the mind isn't what it used to be" Jack said as he winked at Sam.

"Oh Grandpa, you have a better memory than anyone in this room" Sammie said.

"That's right" Kristine added. "I want to hear more stories of when you and Grandma worked together."

"Yeah, especially how you two fell in love" Sammie said with a grin.

"Oh, please. None of that sappy stuff" Jon said.

Jack and Sam looked at each other and grinned.

"I'll be glad to tell you all the sappy stuff, Sammie" Sam said as she put her arm around her granddaughter.

"I want to hear too" Kristine added.

Jon rolled his eyes and let out a sigh. "We all know that Grandma and Grandpa loved each other for many years but couldn't do anything about it, and Grandma got engaged to some guy named Pete but eventually broke up with him and not long after that she and Grandpa got married. End of story" Jon said as everyone laughed.

"Well, there is a little bit more to it than that" Sam said with a chuckle.

"I loved her from the moment I met her but I couldn't let her know" Jack said as he stared at Sam.

"Yeah, and Mom challenged you to an arm wrestle" Grace said.

"Yes I did, but he never took me up on it" Sam said with a wink at Jack.

"Maybe he knew you could beat him" Sammie said as she turned to look at her grandfather.

"You're probably right" Jack said. "She's stronger than she looks."

"Before this goes any further, everyone sit down and eat" Grace said as she started to put more food on the table.

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§**

The men were outside inspecting Jake's new vehicle and all the women were sitting in the living room.

"Did you love Grandpa from the first day you met him?" Sammie asked Sam.

"Well, the attraction was there. He was so handsome in his uniform and yes, he made my heart skip several beats. But I slowly fell in love with him as we worked together. He was brave, smart, funny and thoughtful; we respected each other. But it wasn't until four years later when we finally admitted that we cared for each other and even then, we couldn't do anything about it."

"That must have been hard to deal with" Melanie said. "To work with each other day in and day out without showing each other how you felt."

"Yes, it was" Sam said as she looked down at her hands.

"Why did you get engaged to this Pete guy, Grandma?" Kristine asked.

"I wanted someone to share my life with and I didn't think I would ever get the chance with your Grandpa. So, I tried to move on without him."

"But it didn't work" Kristine stated.

"No."

"So what did you do?" Sammie asked.

"Just a few hours before your Great Grandpa Jake died, he told me I could still have everything I wanted. He knew that I loved Jack and knew I wasn't being honest with myself. After I thought about it, I knew I had to admit I was lying to myself and I couldn't live a lie with Pete so I broke the engagement."

"How did he take it?" Melanie asked.

"The break-up hurt him but he let me go" Sam said softly.

"Dad was seeing someone else too, wasn't he?" Grace said.

Sam sighed deeply. "Yes, he was."

"What was her name?" Kristine asked.

"Her name was Kerry. But she was smart enough to realize that it couldn't work out between her and Jack because of his feelings for me and she encouraged him to do something about us."

"And he did." Kristine said.

"Yes, eventually. Our wedding day was one of the three happiest days of my life" Sam said with a smile.

"It was the happiest day of my life" Jack said as all the women looked up to see Jack standing in the doorway.

"I hope I find someone some day that loves me as much as you two love each other" Sammie said.

"I hope you do too, honey" Sam said as she and Jack looked at each other. "It's the greatest feeling in the world to know that the person you love, loves you in return."

"What were the other two happiest days?" Kristine asked.

"The day Grace was born" Sam said as she reached for Grace's hand and gently squeezed it as the two women smiled at each other. "The third happiest was when Jake was born."

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§**

Jim, Melanie and the kids were taking a walk in the woods.

Sam and Grace sat in the swing on the porch.

"Do you still miss Uncle Mark, Mom?"

"Certainly, honey. He was the only family I had left except for some distant cousins."

Several years ago, Mark, his wife and two children had died from carbon monoxide poisoning inside their house. They simply went to sleep one night and didn't wake up.

The mother and daughter sat lost in thought for a few minutes.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No thanks. I'm fine."

Sam looked out at the trees and breathed in the clean, fresh air. She turned to look at Grace who was biting her lower lip.

"Something's on your mind."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you always bite your lip when you're thinking."

"I'm just curious."

"About what?"

"How did you know the lump was there in your breast?"

Sam looked down as she slowly rotated her wedding band and she started to grin.

"Your Dad found it."

Grace's eyes grew big and she stared at Sam.

"Oh, Grace, don't look so shocked. Just because your Dad and I are getting old, doesn't mean we've stopped making love."

Grace blushed and smiled.

"Maybe not as often as we used to when we were younger but we still enjoy showing our love for each other. There's nothing wrong with that."

"I know there isn't, Mom."

"You just don't think about old people having sex?" Sam said with a chuckle.

Grace started to laugh out loud just as Jack came walking out the door of the cabin.

"What's so funny?"

The two women looked at each other and laughed that much harder as Jack shrugged and walked down to the dock.

After he was gone and they regained their composure, Sam turned to Grace. "Promise me, if you ever find anything remotely suspicious, please have a doctor check you right away."

"I will, I promise" Grace said as she squeezed her hand.

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§**

As Sam and Grace sat talking on the porch, Jack sat down by Jake on the dock and stretched out his long legs.

Jake stared at the lake. "I always love coming here, Dad. It's so relaxing and good to get away from the job and spend time with the family."

"I agree, son."

Jake turned to look at Jack.

"How's Mom . . . really?"

"I think she's okay. She starts chemo next week. We're not looking forward to it but it's necessary to be sure all the cancer is gone. She has a good attitude and that helps a great deal."

"Yes, it does. So, how are you holding up?"

Jack looked down at his hands and took a deep breath. "It scared me, Jake. I know the doctors are doing everything they can but this is your Mom we're talking about. I don't know what I'd do if she . . ." Jack said as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"She would want you to go on with your life, Dad."

"She is my life. I don't know that I could go on without her."

The two men sat quietly for a few moments and Jack wanted to change the subject.

"So, how's the SGC?"

"Fine" Jake said as he stared down at one of the planks on the dock.

"You sure?" Jack asked as he saw the serious expression on Jake's face.

"Dad, I wanted to talk with you and Mom while we're here."

"About what?" Sam asked.

The two men turned around to see Sam and Grace standing behind them.

"Will this be a private conversation?" Grace asked.

"No, I want you and Jim to know about this too."

Jake stood up to give Sam his chair. Grace sat down on the dock next to Sam. Jake sat down on the dock, bent his knees and wrapped his arms around his knees, facing Grace.

"About what?" Sam asked again.

"I'm thinking about leaving the SGC and becoming a commercial pilot."

"Why?" Jack asked as he set up straighter in his chair. "I thought you loved working at the SGC."

"I still do in a way, Dad. But you and Mom know better than anyone how dangerous going through the Gate can be. I guess I'm beginning to realize that I want to be sure I live to see my children grow up. We're running into some really evil bad guys out there now that are just as dangerous, if not more so, than when you both went through the Gate."

"What does Melanie say?" Grace asked.

"She's all for it. She doesn't want to lose me the same way she lost her first husband. She told me recently how scared she gets sometimes when someone is wounded or killed and she doesn't want to be a widow again with two kids to rear by herself."

"Son, if that's what you want to do we'll support you one hundred percent" Jack said.

"That's right. I don't want my grandchildren to grow up without their father" Sam added.

"I'll be happy for you too, Jake" Grace agreed with a grin.

"Then I guess it's pretty much settled" Jake said with a sigh.

"Have you told the kids?" Sam asked.

"No. I don't want to until I know something definite. Kristine sometimes has bad dreams when I'm off-world and it scares her when my team stays gone longer than we're supposed to. She's afraid I might not come back alive. I think it'll make her happy to know that I'd be here permanently on Earth. As for Patrick, he has already told us that he wants to go to the Academy and be a pilot like me and his grandfather and then he wants to work on the Stargate program. I know he's very young and could change his mind, but if that's what he really wants to do with his life, then Melanie and I are not going to try to stop him. It's his choice."

Grace and Jake sat talking with their parents on the dock for awhile longer until Sam told them she wanted to go lie down.

"You okay, Mom?" Jake asked.

"Just a little tired."

Grace helped Sam stand up. "I'll walk back with you." She turned to Jack.

"Are you grilling streaks tonight, Dad?"

"You betcha."

"I think the kids will probably want hot dogs and hamburgers so we'll have those also" Grace said as Sam took hold of her arm.

They went inside the cabin and went to Sam and Jack's bedroom and the two women sat down on the side of the bed.

"I'm glad Jake will be leaving the SGC. I worry about him" Grace said.

"I just want him to be happy and if leaving the SGC is what he wants, then it's fine with me" Sam said as she stretched out on the bed and spread a blanket over her legs.

Grace stood, leaned over and kissed Sam on the cheek and looked into her eyes.

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you too."

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§**

That evening after everyone had eaten and the dishes were done, they all gathered in the living room to chat. Soon, Jim and Jake got a chess game going, Jack watched a hockey game on TV, the kids sat on the floor and played computer games and Melanie, Grace and Sam went back into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Grace made a pot of coffee and the women talked.

"Well, I think I'm going to bed" Sam announced as she slowly stood from her chair and reached for her cane. She suddenly froze and put her hand on her back.

"Are you okay?" Grace asked.

"Just a little pain in my back."

"Sam, maybe I should check your bandage" Melanie offered.

"Yes, I do need to change it" Sam said as she started to move through the living room.

"Good night everyone" Sam said with a smile and a wave.

They all turned to look at Sam and said their good nights as Melanie followed.

Sammie stood up from the floor and wrapped her arms around Sam.

"I love you, Grandma."

"I love you too, honey" Sam said as she hugged her back.

Grace sat down beside Jack on the sofa and took a handful of popcorn from the bowl he had in his hands.

"I'll be in as soon as the game is over, Sam" Jack said.

Sam and Melanie went into the bedroom and Melanie closed the door. Sam went into the bathroom and changed into her bathrobe then sat down on the side of the bed.

"I guess you've seen women before who have had mastectomies."

"Yes, when I was in nurse's training. If you feel uncomfortable doing this, we don't have to" Melanie said, trying to make her feel at ease.

"No, it's okay" Sam said as she slowly lowered her robe. Melanie checked the incision. She could see that the area was still tender, as she took off the old bandage and put on a new one.

"Looks like you're healing really well, Sam. The area is still pink but the scar is healing like it should" she said as she pulled the robe back up.

"Thanks for doing this for me" Sam said as she pulled the robe tighter around her chest.

"You're welcome. Is there anything you didn't discuss with your doctor that you would like to talk about?

Tears came to Sam's eyes and Melanie put her arm around her.

"No, but . . ."

"What is it?" Melanie gently asked.

"Well, you know how Jack doesn't talk about his feelings very much but he looked so scared after I woke up from the surgery and I could tell, just by looking at him, that he hadn't slept much. I think this scared him as much, if not more, than it did me. I just wonder sometimes . . . I mean . . . we've become so dependent on each other after all these years and I think he thinks that since he is older than me that he will die before I do. But he's in better health than I am and I just wonder how he would cope if I should die before he does. I don't want him to feel lonely and depressed should I go first" Sam said as tears started to run down her cheeks.

Melanie stood and grabbed several tissues and handed them to Sam and she sat back down and put her arm around her.

There was a knock on the door. Melanie got up to see who it was and she opened the door just wide enough to let Grace enter and she saw Sam crying.

"Mom, what's wrong?" Grace asked as she knelt in from of her.

Sam looked down at the tissues in her hands and continued to cry. Melanie sat down and told Grace what Sam had told her.

"Oh, Mom. We all know how much it would upset Dad, but we would do everything we could to make sure he knows how much we all love him and he would be very well cared for" Grace said as tears came to her eyes.

Sam brushed the tears from her eyes and tried to smile.

"Thanks, honey" Sam said as she opened her arms and Grace raised up on her knees and wrapped her arms around Sam and held on to her tightly.

Just at that moment, Jack opened the door to see Sam crying, Grace on her knees hugging her Mother and Melanie looking sad.

"What's goin' on?"

Melanie stood, Grace let go of Sam and stood up. Melanie and Grace came to the door. Grace stopped and wrapped her arms around Jack and kissed him on the cheek without saying anything and she closed the door behind her.

Jack walked over to Sam and slowly sat down beside her. He reached out and put his arm around her shoulder and she leaned into him.

"Want to tell me why you're crying?"

Sam sat there for a few seconds then looked at him.

"Would you promise me something?"

"Anything" Jack said as he looked into the blue eyes that he loved so much.

"If I should die before you . . ."

"Sam, I don't want to talk about anybody dying" he said as his arm fell from her shoulder and he stared at the floor.

"We need to talk about it, Jack. It's going to happen to one of us sooner or later."

Jack shook his head and he turned to look at her. "When one of us dies first, it's going to be me" he said as tears came to his eyes and he looked away. "Just the thought of living without you . . . I won't even let myself think about that" he said as he tried to fight back the tears.

Sam slipped her hand into his. "Jack, let's be realistic. There is the possibility that I could die before you and if that happens I want you to promise me that you'll go on with your life. I know it won't be easy but you have Jake and Melanie and Jim and Grace and four beautiful grandchildren that need you and love you dearly."

Jack clasped her hand tighter. "I can only promise that I'll try because you asked me to" he whispered as his lip trembled and a tear slipped down his cheek and he reached up to wipe it away.

"That's good enough for me" Sam said as she pulled him to her and wrapped her arms around his waist and he hugged her to him. They sat like that for several minutes until Sam pulled back from him.

"Let's go to bed" she said.

Jack changed into his pajamas and Sam into her gown. They got into bed and Jack turned off the lamp. He lay on his back and Sam turned on her side and laid her head on his chest. Jack wrapped his arms around her.

"Do you have any idea how very much I love you, Mrs. O'Neill?" he asked as he stared into the darkness.

"As much as I love you" Sam said as they both drifted off to sleep.

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§**

The time passed quickly and soon the family vacation was over.

Sam was scheduled to start chemotherapy the following Wednesday, so Saturday morning after the house was straightened up, everyone started packing to return to Colorado.

Jack and Sam took one more walk down to the dock before leaving.

Sam was thinking that this might be the last time she would be at the cabin, if they found more cancer and the chemotherapy did not go well. She wasn't about to voice her thoughts to Jack though.

"It really is a little piece of heaven" Sam said as they looked out over the water, the trees and the clear blue sky.

"Yes, it is" Jack agreed as they stood with their arms around each other's waist. "Lots of great memories in this place."

Up on the porch, Jake and Grace were watching. Grace suddenly looked down at the ground, bit her lip and tried to choke back the tears.

Jake came over to her and put his arm around her.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Grace told her brother about what had happened in Jack and Sam's bedroom a few nights ago.

Jake didn't say anything for a few moments.

"We'll be there for Dad if Mom should die before him and vice versa."

"I know" Grace said as she hugged her brother.

Jack and Sam came walking back up the yard and Grace turned to go inside, she didn't want them to see her crying. She went into the bathroom and splashed some water on her face and composed herself.

Jack closed the door to the cabin and locked it, then got into the car beside Sam for the long drive back to Colorado. As soon as their seatbelts were fastened, Jack interlaced his fingers with Sam's, gave her a kiss on the cheek and she laid her head against his shoulder.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are not my property. No copyright infringement is intended._

_A/N: Please know that I have no first-hand knowledge of the treatments and side effects of cancer, so if the dialogue is incorrect, please forgive my mistakes._

They were about half way back to Colorado, when they stopped for the night. After an early breakfast the next morning, they continued on their way home.

After they had made one last stop to eat, Jim, Grace and the kids told everyone bye as they headed home to Denver.

Jake and Patrick carried Jack and Sam's luggage into their house when they arrived back in the Springs. Jake and Melanie's house was only a fifteen minute drive from Jack and Sam.

That night they lay in bed and Sam had her head on Jack's shoulder.

"It was a great vacation" Jack said.

"Yes, it was" Sam agreed. "The grandchildren are getting so big."

"They're great kids. We did a good job of raising Jake and Grace, Sam. They turned out to be great parents."

Sam smiled. "Yes, I'm very proud of them."

Sam drifted off to sleep but Jack lay there thinking. He and Sam would probably not live to see their grandchildren become adults. He felt it was a minor miracle they had seen their grandchildren at all, since he and Sam had married later in life than most couples. He had loved being a dad and especially a grandfather. He loved spoiling the grandchildren, something that he and Sam had tried not to do with Grace and Jake.

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§**

Wednesday morning came and they were getting dressed. Sam was looking at herself in the mirror as Jack came up behind her and encircled his arms around her waist.

"What cha thinking?"

"What I'm going to look like when I start losing my hair" she said as she tried not to cry.

"You will look just as beautiful to me as you always have. I think I'll like the sleek and sexy bald look" he said with a grin and she turned around and slapped his arm and laughed.

Jack always did have a way of making her smile in difficult circumstances and she was so glad that she had him there to keep her spirits up.

They soon left the house to make the ten minute drive to the doctor's office.

Melanie and Grace had volunteered to come with them so Jack wouldn't have to wait by himself but Sam had turned them down. She knew that Jack was still very independent and would not want to feel that he had to have a babysitter. She wanted them to keep their independence for as long as they could. Then if they needed help, they would let the family know.

They sat silently in the waiting room, holding hands, until one of the nurses came to get Sam for her first treatment. Sam stood up and smiled at him.

"I'll be back."

"I'll be here" he said as he watched her go through the door.

Sam's doctor had already told them what to expect when she started the treatments. Nausea, vomiting, weakness, loss of appetite, hair loss and who knew what else. For the next four days she would take the drugs at home, then take a break for four weeks. The next treatment would be given as a patient in the hospital so her blood cell count could be monitored and to be sure she had recovered from the last treatment. If the blood count was not high enough, the chemo might be delayed for a few days. If all the treatments went well, it would take about eight months to complete.

Jack stood looking out the window of the waiting room as the door opened and Sam came out carrying a small bag.

"You okay?"

"So far. Let's get home before I start feeling the effects since we're not sure what will happen the first time" she said as she took his arm.

When they got home, Sam went to lie down. Her doctor had given her a bottle of medicine to help with the nausea she was already experiencing, so she swallowed one of the pills as Jack handed her a glass of water.

"You feel like eating? It's lunch time."

"I think I'll wait awhile. You go ahead" she said as she closed her eyes.

Jack wandered around the house for awhile and decided to make himself some lunch. He had just opened a cabinet door when he heard Sam yell for him and he went into the bedroom as fast as he could.

"I'm feeling really nauseous, Jack, I think I'm going to be sick."

He helped her stand up and he wrapped his arm around her waist as they went into the bathroom. She sat down on the side of the bathtub and leaned over the commode as she started vomiting.

Jack waited with his hand on her shoulder. When she felt she had finished, he got a washcloth and ran cold water over it and handed it to her. She ran the washcloth over her face and mouth and handed it back to him. He threw it into the clothes hamper and then turned and wet another one as he helped Sam stand up. She lay back down on the bed and Jack sat down beside her and put the washcloth to her forehead.

Their eyes met.

"You okay, honey?"

Sam could see the concern in his brown eyes.

"For now" she said as she took the washcloth from her forehead and held it to her cheeks.

"I'll go get a trash can. You can use it if you feel you can't make it to the bathroom" Jack said as he went into the kitchen. He found a trash bag, put it in the trash can and brought it back and sat it down beside the bed.

"Thank you."

"Sure. I know you probably don't have much of an appetite, Sam, but you do need to eat sometime. You need to keep your strength up."

"I know. I promise I will later. I just want to close my eyes for awhile."

"Okay" he said as he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Yell if you need me."

Sam closed her eyes and he stood there for a few moments just staring at her.

Sam heard Jack leave the room. She opened her eyes and slowly turned on her side and stared at the wall as her tears wet the pillow.

Jack went into the kitchen but realized he had lost his appetite. He sat down on the sofa, propped up his feet on the coffee table and leaned his head back on the sofa as he stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, then slowly closed his eyes.

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§**

For the next three days, Sam took the medicine and every time it made her sick.

Jack sat on the side of the bed holding her hand after another round of vomiting, when the doorbell rang, so he got up to see who it was.

"Hi" Melanie said as he opened the door.

"Hey. Come in."

They went into the bedroom and Melanie sat down by Sam. She could see how pale she was and Jack left the room as they began to talk.

"Do you need me to change the bandage?" Melanie asked.

"Yeah, that's a good idea. Jack has been changing it but you can see if it's healing like it should."

Jack came back into the room.

"Melanie, if you don't have to rush off, could you stay with Sam for awhile?"

"Sure" Melanie answered.

"Where are you going, Jack?" Sam asked.

"Just out. I'll be back soon."

"Take your time" Melanie said as she smiled at him.

They heard Jack close the front door as Melanie went to the bathroom to get a new bandage. She returned and sat down as Sam pulled back her robe.

"Okay, now that Jack has left, you want to tell me how you're really feeling?"

Tears came to her eyes. "Not so good. The drugs make me sick, I have no energy or appetite and this morning after I took a quick shower, I was combing my hair and some of it came out in my hand."

"We'll have to buy you a wig" Melanie said with a grin. "Have you ever thought about becoming a redhead?"

Sam laughed. "No, but that's an idea."

"I'm not making light of the situation, Sam, just trying to help you smile a little."

"I know and I appreciate it. Hasn't been much in the last week to smile about. I'm so worried about Jack, Melanie. He tries to be positive but I can tell that this ordeal is already getting to him."

"It's just because he loves you so much" Melanie said as she squeezed Sam's hand.

"And this is just the first time I've had to take the drugs. Doing this seven more times, I don't know . . ." she trailed off as she started to cry.

Melanie moved closer to Sam and wrapped her arms around her.

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§**

Jack sat in the parking lot and stared at the building. The only times he had been in a place like this was for weddings and funerals.

He got out of the car and slowly walked up the sidewalk until he reached the front door and put his hand on the doorknob and pushed. There was no one around so he walked inside and started up the aisle and got about half way, then sat down on a padded bench. He took off his cap and laid it beside him.

The afternoon sun was streaming through the windows as he sat there thinking.

He had never been a religious man, but sometimes when your world was caving in, you did things that you normally would not do and you reached out to grab hold of anything that would help keep your sanity.

He cleared his throat and began to speak.

"I've never been a praying man, God, and I really don't feel worthy to ask this of you. I know I've done some atrocious things in my lifetime, things that you would probably never forgive me for. But I'm not here to ask your forgiveness. I'm here because the one person in this world that I can't live without is slowly being taken from me. She's my world" he said as tears ran down his cheeks. "From the moment I laid eyes on her, I loved her. We waited so long to be together. After all these years, I still don't understand how such a beautiful, smart, sweet and kind woman loves me. Even knowing everything that she knows about me, she accepted me like I was and loved me in spite of it all, and we made two great kids. Since I'm a lot older than she is, I always thought I'd be the one to go first. I'm just asking you for this one miracle. Please don't let her die. Please take me first. She has a family that needs her, grandchildren that adore her and a husband that loves her and simply can't live without her. I've never asked for anything before, but please, God, just this once. That's all I ask."

Jack put his elbows on his knees and sobbed into his hands. In a few minutes, he reached into his pocket to get a handkerchief and he wiped his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned quickly to see who was there.

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to startle you" the man said as Jack stood up. "I'm Steve Hadley. I'm the pastor here" he said as he offered his hand and Jack raised his hand to shake his.

"Jack O'Neill."

"I was here to get something from my office when I noticed the door was open and I heard you talking. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but you sounded pretty upset. Your wife is sick, if I understand correctly. Is there anything I can do?"

"If you have a miracle cure for cancer, then yes, you can help."

"Well, I'm sorry I don't, but I will pray for her. What's her name?"

"Samantha, but everyone calls her Sam."

"A beautiful name."

"She's a beautiful lady. On the inside as well as the outside" Jack said as he picked up his cap and stuck his handkerchief back in his pocket.

"Does she know you're here?"

Jack grinned. "She would faint from shock if she knew I had walked through the doors of a church."

"Not a churchgoing guy?"

"No. But I'm desperate. I'll do anything if it will keep her alive."

"Well, Mr. O'Neill, God sometimes works in mysterious ways."

"Yeah, well, we'll see. I need to go. Nice to meet you" Jack said.

"Nice to meet you too, sir" Mr. Hadley said as the two men walked out of the church together and he watched Jack drive away.

Before he went home, Jack went by a florist and bought Sam a dozen pink roses. Buying the flowers would be his excuse if she asked where he had been.

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§**

A few months passed and Sam seemed to be doing as well as could be expected. Jack noticed that she never quite got her appetite back, but Sam never had been a big eater. She seemed to tire very easily and she had lost weight.

The fourth round of chemo was to be administered at the hospital so they could check her blood count.

Jack sat beside her and held her hand as they administered the drugs.

Dr. West, Sam's oncologist, came by to see her.

"How are you feeling, Mrs. O'Neill?"

"Very tired and my back hurts."

"Since when?" the doctor asked as he looked at her chart.

"Awhile now."

"Why didn't you mention it to me?" Jack asked.

"It's no big deal" she said as she smiled at him.

"I'm going to run a few tests while you're here and I'd like to keep you over night" the doctor said.

Jack and Sam looked at each other.

"If you think it's really necessary" Sam said.

"Just some x-rays and a few more tests. I'll schedule them right away so you can go home tomorrow after they're done."

After the doctor had left the room, Jack turned to Sam.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?"

"No, honey. I want you to go home and sleep in our own bed so you can be comfortable. I'll be okay until you can come get me tomorrow."

Jack stayed with Sam until she started to feel sleepy. Then he stood from his chair and kissed her.

"I love you, baby."

"I love you too, honey" she said as she smiled at him and put her hand on his cheek.

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§**

Jack came into the house, turned on the light and realized how quiet it was. He slowly walked into their bedroom and sat down on the side of the bed and laid back and stared at the ceiling as he spoke out loud.

"You know that miracle I asked you for, God? Now would be a good time to have it."

The doorbell rang so he got up to see who it was. He opened the door to find Daniel on his doorstep.

"Hi, Jack" he said with a grin.

"Daniel" Jack said as he held open the door. Jack closed the door and the two men shook hands then went into the living room.

"I came by to see how Sam is" Daniel said as he sat down on the sofa.

"She's at the hospital. She had a treatment today and the doctor wanted to keep her overnight."

"Is she okay?"

"She complained of her back hurting so he wanted to run some tests, so we'll find out tomorrow what they find out."

Jack watched as Daniel ran his hand through his gray hair.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay. My doctor has me on a new drug for Alzheimer's that has been showing good results, so we'll see how I react to it."

Jack nodded his head. "Hope it works well for you."

"Me too."

Daniel could see how tired and thin Jack looked.

"How are you holding up?"

Jack took a deep breath and ran his hand over his face. "I'm not sure. I hate seeing Sam like this. Almost everything she eats comes right back up when she's having the treatments. She doesn't have much of an appetite. She's tired and has lost weight. The doctor told us to expect this to happen, but it's hard to watch the person you love most in the world go through this. I know she's trying to be brave for my sake, but this is really rough on both of us."

"I'm sorry, Jack. I wish there was something I could do."

"Me too, Daniel, me too."

"How about I take you out to eat?" Daniel offered. "It would probably do you good to get out of the house and I'd enjoy the company."

"Sure, why not. So you're still allowed to drive?"

"So far, yes. Right now, I just tend to forget small things. If it gets to the point I think I'd be a danger to myself or others, I'll quit driving, or my doctor will tell me to stop driving. But for now, that hasn't happened yet."

The two friends went to eat and enjoyed reminiscing.

Daniel drove Jack back to his house.

"I have an idea" Jack said as Daniel stopped the car.

"What's that?"

"Why don't you stay here tonight and you can go with me to see Sam in the morning. She would love to see you."

"I guess I could, although I didn't bring any clothes with me."

"Wear what you've got on. Nobody will know but me."

"I'd like that" Daniel said as the two men got out of the car and went inside the house.

They sat and talked awhile until Daniel started to yawn.

"You know where the guest room and the bathroom are, so make yourself at home."

"Okay. I think I'll go to bed."

"Me too, been a long day. I'll see you in the morning."

Jack went into the bedroom and closed the door and changed into his pajamas. He got into bed and reached over to Sam's side of the bed. He pulled her pillow to him and wrapped his arms around it. He could smell the combination of her shampoo and her favorite body lotion that she always used after she had showered. He realized how much he missed not having her there beside him as he choked back the tears.

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§**

Jack entered Sam's room. She was talking to one of the nurses.

"Hi" Jack said as he leaned over to give her a kiss.

"Hey" Sam grinned.

"Look who I found" Jack said as he stepped out of the way and Sam could see Daniel behind him.

"Daniel, it's so good to see you" Sam said as Daniel smiled and gave her a hug.

They pulled up chairs beside the bed and were talking when Dr. West came into the room carrying some papers and looking rather solemn.

"Doc, something wrong?" Jack asked.

"We have your x-rays and test results back, Mrs. O'Neill. There is no easy way to tell you this."

Jack and Sam looked at each other and Daniel stared at the doctor.

"I'm afraid you have metastatic breast cancer. It has spread to your bones. That's why your back is hurting. I want to start you on two different drugs. Tamoxifen and Taxol. These drugs have shown to be two of the best."

Sam felt as if she couldn't breathe and Jack squeezed her hand.

Sam gathered her courage and looked at her doctor. "What are the percentages that these medicines will help?"

"About a 50 chance. Mrs. O'Neill, we have to take into consideration how long you have had cancer, your age, general health and lifestyle. No two women are alike so you may have good results."

"And if I don't?" Sam said as she clinched her jaw.

The doctor didn't answer.

"I want to know if I'm going to die from this, doctor" she said as she raised her voice.

"I don't know."

Sam lay back and stared at the wall.

"May I go home?"

"I will have one of the nurses bring you the prescriptions and I'll sign your release papers. I'm so sorry" Dr. West said as he left the room.

Daniel looked at his two best friends. Jack sat so still, Daniel couldn't even see him breathing as he stared at the floor.

"Jack?"

He turned his head and looked into Sam's eyes.

"Take me home, please."

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§**

Sam sat in the front seat and Jack in the back as Daniel drove them to the drug store to fill the prescriptions and then took them home.

They reached the house and Daniel got out of the car and went around to the passenger side. He watched Jack help Sam stand up as she held the bag containing the medicine in one hand and her cane in the other.

"I need to be going" Daniel said, knowing they needed to be alone right now.

Sam smiled at Daniel and he embraced her and held on to her for several moments. He let go and Sam turned to Jack without looking back at him.

"Thanks for the ride, Daniel" Jack said as Daniel hugged him.

"You're welcome" he said as he let go and they watched Sam walk up the sidewalk.

"Please call me if there is anything I can do" he said as he looked once more at Sam. "I love her too, Jack. She's like a sister to me so I want to help if I can."

"Thanks."

Daniel got into his car and drove away as Jack caught up to Sam and he unlocked the door to let them inside.

Sam went into the bedroom and on into the bathroom. Jack stood in the doorway of the bedroom and waited. Sam came out of the bathroom and stopped. She suddenly picked up a small clock that was sitting on the dresser and hurled it across the room and it shattered as it hit the wall.

She slowly slid down the doorframe to the floor and began to wail as Jack rushed to her and knelt down in front of her. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her to him with all the strength he had. Sam put her arms around his waist and sobbed into his chest as he ran his hands up and down her back and tears ran down his cheeks.

Sam was crying so hard she was shaking.

"I don't want to die, Jack, I don't want to die. Not like this. I don't want to waste away to nothing."

Like so many other times in his life, he didn't know the right words to say to this woman that he loved so much.

They held on to each other as they cried together, until Sam finally relaxed and pulled back from Jack. They looked at each other and slowly stood from the floor and sat down on the bed.

Jack reached back and propped a pillow against the headboard. He scooted up to lean against it, then pulled Sam to him and wrapped her in his arms and she put her head on his chest. They sat in silence for several minutes as they both tried to deal with their churning emotions.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For the temper tantrum."

"Sam, I've been wanting to do something like that since we found out you have cancer. I've just wanted to punch something or someone because this is happening to you, so don't apologize."

Sam raised her head from his chest and looked into his eyes.

"We can't give up yet, Sam. I want you to take the medicine and see if it helps. I'm not going to let you give up. You have to fight this. I know this won't be easy but we have to do everything we can to see if it will make you better."

"I know. I'm glad I have you to help me through this. I couldn't do this without you."

"In sickness and in health, Sam. That was one of our wedding vows, remember? I'll be here for you. Always. I promise."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are not my property. No copyright infringement is intended._

Grace called that evening and Sam reluctantly told her that the cancer had spread to her bones.

"Oh, Mom, no."

"I'm trying some other medicine so we'll see if it will help."

"I want to come stay with you and Dad for awhile."

"Honey, you don't need to do that, not yet at least. Jim, Sammie and Jon need you there."

"Jim can take care of the kids. They'll understand and I'll just worry about you and Dad being by yourselves."

"Only if you think it's necessary. We're trying to stay as independent as long as we can."

"I know, Mom, but we don't know what the side effects of this new medicine could do. If you get tired of having me around, just say so."

"Okay, if you really want to."

"I'll come Saturday and plan to stay until you tell me to leave."

Grace arrived Saturday morning and Jack answered the door.

"Come on in" he said as he ran into the bedroom and Grace followed behind.

Sam had just finished vomiting again. Jack went into the bathroom and came back with a wet washcloth and handed it to Sam as she lay back on the bed. She wiped her mouth and handed it back to Jack.

Grace sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I didn't want you to see me like this" Sam said softly as she clutched the blanket and pulled it over her chest.

"I've seen people throw up before. I have a husband and two kids who get sick occasionally, so don't worry about it" she said as she squeezed her hand.

"I think I'd like to rest now."

"Sure, Mom." Grace leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.

Jack closed the bedroom door as he and Grace went into the living room. Grace turned to look at her father.

"She's getting worse, isn't she?" she said with tears in her eyes.

Jack stuck his hands in his pockets and looked down at the floor. "Yes, she is" he whispered.

Grace walked over to Jack and put her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest as he hugged her.

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§**

That night, Grace got out of bed when she thought she heard a noise and went to search the house. She came into the living room to see Sam sitting in her favorite chair with the lamp on, in her bathrobe, afghan over her legs and a box of stationery on her lap, writing something. She looked up to see Grace come into the room.

"Mom, what are you doing out of bed?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"You need to rest."

"I've rested enough. That's all I do any more is rest and sleep. Besides, there is something I want to finish."

Grace sat down beside her on the floor.

"What is it?"

"I want you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"After I go, I want you to give this to your father."

"What do you mean after you go, Mom? You're not going anywhere."

Sam smiled as she put her hand on Grace's cheek and looked into her eyes.

"My sweet baby girl. Do you know how much I have loved being your Mother?"

"Oh, Mom" Grace said as she started to cry and she put her head on the arm of the chair. Sam lifted her hand and softly began to stroke Grace's hair.

"When the nurse put you in my arms for the first time when you were born, I have never felt so protective of anything in my life. You opened your eyes and stared at me for a moment, latched on to my finger with your tiny fist and I instantly fell in love. You were so cute and little and soft and I just wanted to hold you in my arms forever and keep you from harm. Your Dad wore a grin for a week after you were born, he was so proud of you, and I was so afraid he would spoil you rotten. He said you looked so much like Charlie when he was born."

Sam paused for a moment and leaned her head back against the chair and continued to stroke Grace's hair.

"You're like both of us, you know. You have my curiosity about everything and you tend to over extend yourself too much. You have your Dad's sense of right and wrong and his sense of loyalty and honesty. I am forever grateful that I've had the privilege to be your Mother and share my life with you. You have enriched my life in more ways than you can imagine."

Sam lifted her hand and placed it back in her lap and Grace raised her head and looked at Sam. She wiped the tears from her face and whispered "I love you, Mom."

Sam smiled. "I love you too, honey."

Grace changed positions on the floor.

"What is it you want me to give Dad?"

"A few days after my funeral, I want you to give him this letter."

"Your funeral is not going to be for a long time" Grace said as if trying to convince herself.

Sam smiled. "Well, whenever it is, just promise me that you'll give this to him."

"I will, I promise."

Grace watched as she signed the letter, folded it and put it in an envelope and sealed it. She wrote "Jack" on the outside of the envelope and handed it to her.

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§**

A few days later, Jake got back from a long mission off-world. He came and sat beside Sam on her bed and talked with her as Grace was busy doing chores.

Jack had gone out to refill one of Sam's prescriptions and he returned when Jake was talking with Sam.

Jack started to enter the bedroom, only to meet Jake on his way out and he closed the door and they went into the living room.

The two men sat down across from each other and Jake stared out the window.

"She's not going to get better, is she?"

"No, I don't think so."

Grace sat down beside Jack.

Jake got up and wandered over to the window.

"With all the breakthroughs in medicine, you would think they would find a cure or medicine or something to get rid of this disease" Jake said as he shook his head and stared out into the yard.

"That's how I feel, Jake" Grace said.

"They've been working on a cure for cancer since I can remember" Jack added.

"Jake" Grace said as she set up on the sofa to face her brother "aren't there any races you come in contact with off-world that could Mom? I mean, Grandpa Jacob's cancer was cured when he became a Tok'ra."

"Unfortunately, the Tok'ra race died out several years ago and yes, there are other races that probably could help Mom, but they are not willing to share with us. I've already asked."

"But think of all the times Mom helped some of those other races. It isn't fair."

"Life isn't always fair, honey. You just take the good with the bad" Jack said.

Jake came and sat back down and looked at Jack.

"Dad, has Mom said where she wants to be buried?"

"Yes. We made the decision several years ago when both of you were little. It was your brother Charlie's birthday and Sam and I had taken some flowers to his grave. We decided that day that when both of us died, we would be buried next to Charlie, so we had it written into our Wills. Our attorney has a copy and we have a copy."

"Sounds like a good idea to me" Jake said.

Grace nodded her head in agreement.

After talking awhile longer, Jake told Grace and Jack that he needed to get home. Grace went into the kitchen to start dinner as Jack went to check on Sam.

He opened the door to see her sitting up in bed and he sat down beside her.

"Hi" she said with a grin.

"Hey. Feel like eating something?"

"A little I guess."

Sam got out of bed and Jack helped her to the table. She only ate a little before standing up to go lie back down.

Jack and Grace watched her go as Grace put her elbows on the table and ran her hands over her face.

"I can't bear to see her like this, Dad."

"I know. Me too" he said as he pushed his plate away from him.

After Jack helped Grace clean up in the kitchen, he went back in the bedroom. Sam was sitting in a rocking chair, looking out the window. Jack knelt down beside her.

"You okay?"

"Yes, just very tired."

Grace came into the bedroom.

"Do you need anything, Mom?"

"No, honey, but thanks."

"I think I'll turn in early. I'm a little tired. I'll see you in the morning."

"Grace, come here please."

Grace knelt down beside her. Sam put her hand on Grace's cheek.

"Always remember that I love you" Sam said.

Grace smiled. "And I love you, Mom" she said as she wrapped her arms around Sam and hugged her.

Grace stood up and kissed Jack on the cheek.

"Night, Dad."

"Night."

Grace closed the door and Sam slowly stood up and moved toward the bed and changed into her gown and Jack changed into his pajamas.

They got in bed and Sam put her head on Jack's shoulder.

"Jack."

"Yes, honey?"

"I don't have the strength to fight any more."

Jack closed his eyes. "I know."

Sam raised up and looked at him. "Have I told you how happy you've made me?"

Jack stared into her blue eyes but couldn't speak.

"Thank you, Jack, for loving me and for the privilege of being your wife and letting me share my life with you."

He pulled her to him as tears came to his eyes.

"I love you, Jack."

"I love you too, Sam, so very much."

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§**

Jack awoke the next morning and slowly turned over and opened his eyes. And in that moment, he knew she wasn't just sleeping.

"Sam" he whispered.

He stared at the face that had brightened his life for so many years. The face that he woke up to that made his life worth living. He remembered the smile that could make him happy just to be alive and in her presence. He slowly raised his hand and put it on her cheek and felt the softness of her skin. He thought he had memorized every line, every contour, the four freckles across her nose, her sweet lips, every feature of the face he loved so much. But he wanted to take one last, long look. He kept his hand to her cheek as his mind drifted back to when Samantha Carter had come into his life with her blonde hair, blue eyes and terrific figure. This gutsy, intelligent, witty, sweet, kind and beautiful woman that he had had the privilege of sharing the last half of his life with. Had the privilege of knowing her body from head to toe. The wonder of making love to this woman who had given him two terrific children. She would no longer feel the pain of disease that had racked her body and for that he was grateful. He had watched her body deteriorate to the point she knew it would not be long until they would have to say their goodbyes. But he could never tell her goodbye. She would forever be in his mind and his heart. There would never be another love like their love. There would never be another woman like Samantha Carter O'Neill. Jack slowly lifted his hand from her face as he leaned up and kissed her cheek for the last time.

He got dressed and knocked on the guest room door. Grace had just finished dressing and suddenly froze as she saw Jack standing there crying.

Grace knew what was wrong without having to ask.

She wrapped her arms around Jack as they cried together.

Grace took Jack by the hand and led him into the living room and to the sofa. "Sit down please, Dad. I'll call Jake."

Jack did as she asked and Grace picked up the phone.

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§**

There were no vacant seats in the large church as the family entered for the service to begin.

Dignitaries from all over the world, and other planets, had come to pay their respects to this incredible woman who had accomplished so much in her life.

The vice president of the United States was sitting close to the front. The president had asked him to attend and pay his respects to the family.

The commander at the SGC had gotten in touch with Teal'c to tell him the news. He had arrived in time for the service and he and Daniel now sat together on the front row, across from the family.

A minister spoke for a few minutes, then Daniel stood from his pew and came to stand behind the podium.

"What can I say about this remarkable woman who has touched so many lives. I first met Sam many years ago on a far away planet and got to know her here on Earth. Jack, Sam, Teal'c and I made up the team called SG-1 when we worked together at Cheyenne Mountain on the Stargate program, long before it became known to the public. The four of us became a family. None of us could have imagined what wonders we would see when we traveled to distant worlds. Sam had such enthusiasm in everything she did. She was the consummate professional soldier. Always doing her duty, not only for her country, but for her planet. We came across some pretty evil beings in our adventures across the galaxy, but Sam wasn't afraid of anyone. She saved not only the lives of her teammates but countless races all over the universe. She would go out of her way to help someone. Her face would light up whenever she made a new discovery or learned how to repair or operate some alien technology. She loved to learn new things. That was the scientist side of Sam."

Daniel paused for a moment.

"Sam was like a sister to me" he said as tears came to his eyes. "We knew each other so well. She and I had this habit, which used to drive Jack crazy, of working too late or too much. He would often find us in her lab, or my lab, early in the morning at the SGC, working or talking about some discovery one of us had made, knowing we had been up all night and had not had any sleep. Then he would order both of us to get some rest. I can't remember how many times that happened."

"When Jack and Sam started working together, they liked and respected each other. Over the years, Teal'c and I watched as Jack and Sam not only became friends, they fell in love. I can remember arguing with Jack or Sam, that they always put duty before their own happiness. Teal'c and I knew they belonged together. Finally, after eight years, they were married. I had the honor of being Jack's best man at their wedding. Teal'c and I had never seen Jack and Sam so happy as they were on their wedding day, even though it was a small and simple ceremony. I remember that for the longest time after they were married," Daniel said with a grin "Sam still caught herself calling Jack 'sir' instead of Jack. Jack got a big kick out of that."

Everyone in the church laughed. Jack smiled and looked down at the floor as Grace squeezed his hand.

"About a year ago, she told me that the best decision she ever made in her life was when she accepted Jack's proposal. Theirs was a love that most people only dream of."

"Not too long after they were married, their daughter, Grace, was born and then their son, Jake. I think the role that Sam would be most proud of was her role of wife, mother and grandmother. She became a mother later in life than most women and resigned from the military to devote her time to her family. Her eyes always lit up when she talked about her children and so many times I witnessed just what a great mother she really was. She and Jack took an active interest in their children's lives and Grace and Jake turned out to be two exceptional adults. Sam loved spending time with her grandchildren and getting to know each of them."

Daniel stopped as if to think of what he wanted to say next.

"Sam lived her life to the fullest but in the last few weeks of her life, her health had deteriorated and she knew that she would not be getting better. She called me one night just a few days before she died and told me how much she had loved having me in her life and that I was like a brother to her. She had great influence on so many people, including me. I am a better person for having had her as a very dear friend. Although we will miss her, I am glad that she is no longer in pain."

Daniel looked at the coffin.

"You will be forever in our hearts, Sam. May you rest in peace."

Daniel stepped down from the podium as a soloist stood to sing and soon the service was over.

The morning had started off with rain, but as they came out of the church, the sun was shining brightly.

Jake stood on one side of Jack and Grace on the other as she held his hand. They watched as the coffin was loaded into the hearse. Just behind them stood Jim and Melanie and the four grandchildren with Daniel and Teal'c standing close behind.

Jack, Grace and Jake got into the limousine for the short ride to the cemetery. Grace held Jack's hand as they rode in silence.

They soon arrived at the cemetery and the coffin was slowly set on top of the bier as the family and friends surrounded the gravesite. Sam had requested in her Will to have a short service at the gravesite and did not want military honors. She also requested that instead of an American flag to cover her coffin, she asked for her favorite flowers, pink roses.

The minister spoke for a few minutes and soon the short service was over.

Jack stood staring at the coffin and Jake and Grace patiently waited.

Jack felt someone touch his shoulder and turned around to find Teal'c standing behind him. He looked into Jack's eyes and the two men embraced. Teal'c stepped back.

"We have lost a great warrior."

"Yes, we have" Jack said softly.

"I have also lost a dear friend" he added.

"She would be so honored that you came today, Teal'c."

"I could not miss being here to pay my respects."

Teal'c stepped closer to the coffin, closed his hand into a fist and put his arm across his chest and bowed. He stayed that way for a few seconds, then stood up straight, dropped his arm by his side, turned and went to stand beside Daniel.

Jack slowly walked over to the coffin and took one of the pink roses. He took a few steps and slowly bent over and placed the flower on top of Charlie's grave. Jake and Grace watched as he placed his hand on the top of the headstone and held it there for a moment, then turned around to face them.

"Could I have a moment please?"

"Sure, Dad" Jake said as he and Grace went to join the family as they stood talking quietly several feet away.

Jack faced the coffin once again.

"You were my life, Samantha. No words can express what is in my heart at this moment. I miss you and I will always love you."

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§**

Family and friends returned to Jack's house.

As soon as Jake and Grace came through the door, they were greeted with a big hug from Teal'c.

"I'm so glad you came, Teal'c" Jake said. "I know how much it means to Dad to have you here."

"Mom would have loved that you came all this way to attend her funeral" Grace said as tears came to her eyes and Teal'c put his arm around her.

"She was a wonderful woman and a very close friend. I could not miss this opportunity to do this one last thing for her" Teal'c said as he put his other arm around Jake.

Jake and Grace watched as friends from the SGC would come up to Jack and shake his hand or embrace him. Some of these were people that he and Sam had worked with for years who were now retired.

Grace looked around and wondered where the children were. She went to the door and looked out to see Patrick and Jon sitting together at the end of the deck, both eating and talking quietly.

She went to look for the girls and found them sitting on the bed in the guest room, crying. Grace put her hand on Sammie's shoulder and she moved over so Grace could sit between them. She wrapped her arms around them as they leaned against her.

"You want to talk about her?"

"I'm glad Grandma isn't sick any more, Aunt Grace, but I miss her" Kristine said as she started to cry again.

"Me too" Sammie said as she wiped her eyes.

"I know" Grace said as she had to fight back the tears. "But it's okay to miss her. You know, she really loved both of you very much and was so proud to have such sweet granddaughters."

"What about Grandpa?" Sammie said as she looked into Grace's eyes. "He's going to be so lonely without her."

"Yes, he will be, honey. But Dad knows that your Grandma would want him to go on with his life. And it was a comfort to her to know that he has a family who loves him and will take good care of him."

"Why doesn't he come home with us, Mom? He could live with us and we could take care of him."

"I'll talk to him, honey, but I think he will want to stay here. This is their home and has been for a long time. I don't think he will want to leave, and besides, he will want to visit your Grandma's grave sometimes."

Grace stood up.

"Come on, you both need to eat."

They went into the kitchen to see Jack sitting at the table talking with Teal'c.

"So T, how's Ishta?"

"Ishta remains the same" Teal'c said with a solemn look on his face.

"And you wouldn't have it any other way" Jack said with a grin.

Teal'c smiled. "Indeed."

Sammie and Kristine got themselves something to eat. Kristine sat down by Jack on his left side and Sammie on his right. He wrapped his arms around their shoulders and gave them a hug.

Daniel and Teal'c stayed until there was just the family left, and soon Teal'c told Jack that he needed to leave. The two friends embraced.

"Be well, my friend" Teal'c said.

"Don't be a stranger and next time bring Ishta with you" Jack said with a grin.

"I shall."

Daniel hugged Jack, then drove Teal'c back to the Mountain.

The family sat around the kitchen table talking. Jack said he was tired and wanted to go to bed, so Jake, Melanie and their kids left for the short drive home. Grace, Jim, Sammie and Jon would be staying with Jack for a few days.

Jack went into the bedroom and closed the door. He got into his pajamas and turned off the light. He lay on his back for a few minutes, then switched the lamp back on and opened a drawer of the nightstand and pulled out a picture of him and Sam on their wedding day. He gently ran his fingers over the picture, thinking how beautiful and happy Sam looked. Then he began to sob.

Grace and Jim came down the hall to go to bed and stopped when they heard Jack crying. Grace started to go into his bedroom, but Jim put his hand on her arm to stop her.

"No, honey, let him grieve. He needs this."

_**Final chapter coming up.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are not my property. No copyright infringement is intended._

It had now been a week since the funeral. Grace helped Jack sort through Sam's clothes that could be given to charity. They also picked out some of Sam's things to give to the grandchildren and put away other things in the attic.

Grace was reluctant to leave Jack alone.

"Are you sure you won't come with us, Dad? We would all love to have you live with us, especially Sammie and Jon."

"Thanks, honey, but no. I want to stay here."

"Okay, but please let me know if you change your mind. I'm glad that Jake and Melanie are close by."

"If I need anything I'll call them."

"I have something for you" she said as she went into the guest room and came back out and handed him an envelope.

"Mom asked me to give you this."

Jack slowly raised his hand and took it.

"What is it?"

"A few nights before Mom died, I thought I heard a noise and I got up to find out what it was. Mom was in the living room writing you a letter and she asked me to give it to you for her."

Jack stood there staring at it. "Do you know what it says?"

"No. She signed it, sealed it and gave it to me. I didn't ask what it said, I thought it was probably very personal."

Jack followed Grace, Jim and the kids outside to tell them bye.

"Please come visit us real soon, Grandpa" Jon said as he gave him a hug.

"I will, Jon, I promise."

Next was Sammie. She put her arms around Jack's waist and hugged him tightly.

"I love you, Grandpa" she said as she looked up at him with big blue eyes that reminded him so much of Sam.

"I love you too, sweetheart" he said as he leaned over and kissed the top of her head.

Jack reached out his hand to shake Jim's, but instead, Jim drew him into a hug.

"Take care of yourself and let us know if you need anything" he said as he let go and smiled at Jack.

"I will" he said with a grin.

Then it was Grace's turn and she put her arms around Jack's neck.

"I love you, Dad" she said as she couldn't stop the tears from coming and they held on to each other.

Jack let go and wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. "I love you too, honey. Thanks for everything you did while you were here" he said as he quickly wiped the tears from his eyes.

They got into the car and Jack waved to them as they left to drive home to Denver.

He went back in the house and closed the door. He picked up the letter from the table where he had laid it, went to the sofa and sat down. He stared at his name on the envelope but he just couldn't bring himself to open it. Not yet.

This was the first time he had been alone in the house since Sam died. He wandered out onto the deck and stood there looking over the back yard when he noticed something. He stepped down into the yard and went walking over to see a tiny bud about to bloom on a pink rose bush that he had planted for Sam a few years ago. He gently touched it as tears came to his eyes.

'Your favorite flower, Sam' he said to himself. He stood there for a few moments just staring at it.

He turned around and sat down on the steps of the deck and looked up at the sky. Then he began to think about when he had gone to the church to ask for God's intervention to let Sam live, and thoughts ran through his mind.

'I guess I've mellowed in my old age, God. Before, I would have been very angry that you didn't answer my request for Sam to live. But getting mad at you isn't going to bring her back and even if you had cured her cancer, she still would have been in pain from arthritis and I didn't want her to be in pain. Sam never held a grudge against anyone and she would not want me holding a grudge against you. She knew it was her time to go and she had accepted it, she knew it was coming. In my head, I know it was her time to go too, but in my heart it would have never been the right time. I still wish I had been the first to go.'

He looked at the ground as tears came to his eyes.

'I miss her so much. I keep expecting her to come walking through the door, just to sit and chat or to give me a kiss on the cheek. I wake up in the mornings expecting to see her smile that could always brighten my day. I know I'll never stop missing her, I'll never stop loving her, and I feel completely lost since she isn't here any more. If you're really up there, God, I could use your help because I don't know how to live without her.'

He wiped the tears from his eyes and went inside the house and made himself a sandwich as he looked through a large stack of sympathy cards that people had sent him.

Later that night, he got into bed and lay there looking up at the ceiling. He turned onto his side and ran his hand over the space where Sam used to lie beside him, and pulled her pillow to him as he wrapped his arms around it and cried.

The next morning, Daniel called to see if he wanted to go to lunch and he came by the house to pick him up. After lunch, Daniel dropped him back at his house, then went on his way.

As he came into the house, his phone rang. It was a message to let him know that the headstone and small concrete bench were in place.

He got the letter and went to a florist and bought two flower arrangements, then drove to the cemetery. He walked slowly up the sidewalk and stopped at Sam's grave. He stood there staring at the headstone. _Samantha Carter O'Neill. Beloved Wife, Mother and Grandmother. _There was the date she was born and the date of her death. Jack's name was also next to hers with the date of his birth. All that needed to be added would be the date of his death.

He placed pink roses on Sam's grave, then carefully laid red roses on Charlie's.

He sat down on the bench and carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the letter and unfolded it to see Sam's familiar handwriting.

_My Darling Jack,_

_There is so much in my heart to say but I don't know where to start._

_The beginning is always a good place so I'll go back to that day so long ago when we first met in the briefing room at Stargate Command. I had read your mission report from the first Abydos mission before we met, and I knew that you had retired but had been recalled to active duty._

_I remember so vividly, walking into that room to see this very handsome man standing across the table from me. You looked so gorgeous in your uniform and I noticed the twinkle in your brown eyes as we began to banter back and forth._

_I wanted you to accept me as part of the team, and I guess I came on a little strong. I could see the humor in your eyes as you looked at me. I wasn't sure what you were thinking - were you laughing at me or were you having as much fun as I was with our little back and forth dialogue._

_Then when I walked up the ramp for the first time and stopped in front of the event horizon, I was in such awe of finally getting to go through the Gate, and you spoiled the moment by pushing me through. When we reached Abydos, I was a little green around the gills but you didn't make a big deal of it._

_That was when I met Daniel. Sweet, intelligent, kind and sensitive Daniel. I had heard so much about him from Catherine so I was eager to meet him. Needless to say, he became like a brother to me and became your best friend. I thought he would find someone else after Sha're died but I don't think he ever stopped loving her, and in his mind, no one else would ever take her place. I had such high hopes that he and Janet would somehow see that they cared for each other more than they realized, and when they were just beginning to, she was suddenly taken from us. It left Daniel adrift and lonely. He buried himself in his work for awhile and eventually accepted her death. Janet had become the sister I never had and it still hurts whenever I think about the senseless way she died._

_I will never forget meeting Teal'c. I always admired and respected him for doing what he did. Walking away from his family and the only life he had ever known, took more courage than most of us will ever have, to come to Earth to help us fight the Goa'uld. He not only became a member of the team, he became a loyal and dear friend. On every mission that the four of us were on together, I felt safer having Teal'c watch our six. One of my fondest memories is Teal'c carrying Grace or Jake on his broad shoulders when they were little. He loved to play with them and give them his undivided attention. He truly is part of our family and I miss him not being here on Earth._

_When you and I were stranded in Antarctica, was when I had to admit to myself that I was feeling a little more than just physical attraction toward you. That was really the first time that we had been alone together. And even though you were in pain, you encouraged me to keep going and had faith in me to get us out of that cold, wet place. I so wanted to get you home safely so you could get medical attention. When I couldn't get the DHD to work, I felt like such a failure, I felt I had let you down. If Daniel had not figured out where we were, we probably would have died._

_When we were lying next to each other to keep warm, you made the comment about your "side arm." It became an inside joke between us and it always makes me smile when I think about it._

_I will be eternally grateful that we met the Tok'ra. Without them I would have not had Dad with me for as long as I did. We had been estranged for so long and I had hoped that we would patch things up between us. I was so glad that you and he got along so well. Dad could see that I was falling in love with you. I think that was why he let you call him Dad. He liked and respected you, Jack, and he knew that you were good for me. He saw you tease me and be playful with me. I know I've always been too uptight and you helped to bring out my sense of humor and not take life so seriously. He knew you respected me and would never hurt me. After all these years, I still miss him and wish he had lived long enough to see us together. He would have been delighted to have a granddaughter like Grace and would be so proud that Jake's career followed in the family's footsteps. It makes me sad that neither of our parents got to meet their grandchildren._

_Along our journey, Edora happened. That was when I really had to admit to myself that I not only missed you as my friend and CO, I missed you because I was in love with you. I was working so hard to get you home that I didn't sleep much during that time. No one knew this, but when I did need to get away, I would take a few hours to go home and have a good cry. I was so scared that it would be months before we could get a ship to you or we would not get you home at all. When we finally did get through, I saw how you acted with Laira and I really thought that I didn't stand a chance with you. But as it worked out, you didn't go back to be with her._

_Then came the zatarc test when we admitted that we cared for each other. But we went back to being Colonel and Major and nothing changed. I pushed my feelings aside for you, thinking that saving the world was more important. How foolish I was! One of the biggest regrets of my life. Always putting our careers ahead of a personal life. Although we accomplished so much, we wasted so many years that we could have been together._

_I met some men along the way that were interested in me; Martouf, Narim, Orlin and others. But they weren't you. No matter how much I tried, no matter how much I wanted to move on, I knew that you would always be first in my heart._

_All those times that you asked me to go fishing with you, I know I hurt you every time I turned you down. I told you I had a new doohickey or other piece of alien technology that I wanted to study. It was all just lame excuses. I wanted nothing more than to spend time with you off base. But I didn't trust myself to be alone with you. I knew that if we were alone together, I would have ended up telling you how I felt about you, or showing you how I felt about you. That would have made for a very awkward working relationship, not to mention breaking the regs, and I wasn't exactly sure how you felt about me so I avoided fishing at all costs._

_There were times when you would say something funny or your mannerisms were so adorable, I just wanted to throw my arms around your neck and kiss you! I was so attracted to you and it was all I could do sometimes just to keep from touching you._

_You and I have been through so much together, Jack, and I have had a lot of regrets, things that I would change if I could. The biggest mistake I made was getting engaged to Pete. I know I hurt you deeply and if I could do it over again, I would never have gotten involved with him. I never thought I would get the chance to be with you the way I wanted to, so I tried to make a life without you. I wanted someone to love and to be loved in return. You had always told me to get a life and when I did, it was a huge mistake. You loved me enough to let me go if that had really been what I wanted. I know it happened a long time ago, but I still feel the need to apologize for hurting you so badly._

_Then I found out that you were trying to move on too, with Kerry. How could I have been so blind not to realize that you would have someone in your life. You've always been such a handsome and sexy man and any woman would have jumped at the chance to be with you. I don't think you realize how attractive you are to women. I would sometimes overhear women talking at the base, they thought you were gorgeous. Even now, women still turn their heads and stare at you when you walk by. You're like a fine wine, Jack, you get better with age._

_Anyway, that day when I came to your house to tell you I was having second thoughts about the wedding, I had never felt so foolish, as when Kerry walked out of your house and there we stood. None of us knew what to say. Seeing you with Kerry upset me, and just confirmed my suspicions that you might be together. Then I got the call about Dad. I got into the car to return to the base but I wouldn't let myself cry. Dad would have seen that I was upset and would have asked what was wrong and I could not tell him what was happening._

_Dad knew he didn't have long to live and he wanted to be sure I was happy, he knew I wasn't really happy with Pete. That's when he tried to tell me not to let rules stand in my way. I knew I wasn't being honest with myself and I finally had to face the truth and break the engagement. So in the process, I not only hurt you, I also hurt Pete and that's another regret that I learned to live with._

_After Dad's death, Daniel, Teal'c and I finally did go to the cabin with you. I will never forget the night you and I took a walk and we stopped to look at the stars. You put your hand in mine, then pulled me into your arms. My heart was beating so fast I could hardly breathe. I had only dreamed of this moment and now it was coming true. It was when I really looked into your eyes that I could see that you wanted me as much as I did you. And then you kissed me. Eight years of pent-up feelings came out for both of us. It was time to admit how much we loved each other. I confessed to you that I had loved you for years and you told me that you had loved me since I challenged you to an arm wrestle._

_When you asked me to marry you, you told me you didn't think you deserved me, that I was too beautiful, too young and too smart for a beat up, cynical old soldier like yourself, but that you would love me for the rest of my days if I accepted your proposal. I could not believe that you felt that you didn't deserve me, when so many times I have felt so undeserving of you, Jack. I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. I'll never forget the look of pure joy on your face when you slipped the engagement ring on my finger and all I could do was cry._

_Our wedding may have been simple, but I would have married you any time, any place. It didn't matter to me, I just wanted us to be married and spend the rest of our lives together._

_Every time we made love, I felt so accepted, wanted, needed and loved. Your touch took me to places I had never experienced and I could not be around you without wanting to touch you, to kiss you, to hold you in my arms and pray that I never awoke if this was a dream._

_When we were apart, you were constantly in my thoughts and I counted down the minutes until we would be together._

_When you took the job in D.C. and I was still here in the Springs, I could still feel your presence with me. I could feel you holding me in your arms, kissing me, making love to me and telling me how much you loved me. And when we were reunited, it was like coming home, because you are my home._

Jack stopped reading and put down the letter long enough to get a handkerchief from his pocket and he wiped his eyes. Then he continued.

_I had so wanted to give you another child since you had lost Charlie. I wanted to take away that look of sadness in your eyes when you would see a little boy that reminded you of him._

_When we found out I was pregnant with Grace, you got so excited at the thought of being a dad again. As my tummy grew bigger, I would catch you watching me with this look of wonder. You let me be my independent self, but you were also so kind and gentle with me, treating me with such tender, loving care. I never told you, but I loved how you loved me during the times I was pregnant with Grace and Jake._

_When Grace was born, I just knew you would be a fantastic father. She had you wrapped around her little finger from the moment you held her in your arms. She was our baby, something that we had created from our love for each other._

_As Grace grew and recognized you, she would get this grin on her cute face and start moving her little arms up and down, wanting you to pick her up. You would hug her and rock her and you both looked so content. That is one of my most precious memories. She has grown into a beautiful and loving woman and she has always adored you._

_Soon, Jacob Charles was born. You had another son. As Jake grew, he wanted to be just like you. I loved watching you two together. It was, and is, a close relationship that every other father and son would envy. We are both so proud of him and what he has accomplished in his life._

_We had both wanted a third child and soon I was pregnant again. But alas, it was not meant to be. I will never forget the look of sorrow on your face after the miscarriage. You took me in your arms and held me as we cried together for the child that we would never know._

_We were thankful that we already had Grace and Jake. It's so hard to believe that they are now grown with careers and families of their own. They grew up so fast. We did a good job, Jack. Our children turned out to be terrific human beings. They are both intelligent, witty, loving, kind and caring. I see both of us in both of them. Grace has your sense of family, duty and loyalty. Jake has my drive and determination and always wants to be the best at everything he does. They are both terrific parents._

_General Hammond became a surrogate grandfather to Grace and Jake. He loved spoiling them as much as he did his own grandchildren. He and Dad were such close friends and I think Dad would have loved the idea of him caring for our children. George was a remarkable man, another friend that is gone from our lives._

_I have loved watching you be a grandfather. You're much more lenient with the grandchildren than we were with Jake and Grace, but maybe that's the way all grandparents are. We see our heritage being passed on through our grandchildren and I am so proud of all four of them._

_I love your sarcastic sense of humor. So many times when we were on missions, I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing at some of the remarks you came out with when we were on our knees in front of some system lord, held prisoner or whatever._

_When the kids were growing up, you used your sense of humor whenever they got into trouble, and you made almost any tense situation a little more bearable for them, after they knew that their Dad wasn't going to kill them for whatever it was they had done._

_We have both seen good times and bad times. Daniel has told me what you were like on that first mission to Abydos after you lost Charlie. You were drowning in guilt and was ready to take your own life. Your life is such a contrast to what it was then and what it is now. I'm just thankful that your life did not end._

_I lost my Mom at an age when I needed her most, and I wasted so much time blaming Dad for her death. I didn't have the female role model any more that I needed, but Dad did the best he could. I'm just thankful for the time I did have with him and was glad that I could hold his hand as he slipped from this life._

_I also lost Mark and felt such despair when he died. I had lost my only other family member. Once again, I grieved and moved on. For so many years Dad and Mark were estranged from each other. I'm just glad they had reconciled before Dad died._

_You made me a better person, Jack. You have made me happy beyond my wildest dreams. I never knew that being a wife and mother could be so fulfilling until we married and had Grace and Jake. You taught me to slow down and enjoy life, such as teaching the kids to ice skate and ride a bike; family picnics; watching you teach the children and grandchildren to fish when they were little; learning to enjoy watching The Simpsons with you while eating a bowl of popcorn; sitting beside you on the deck on a beautiful morning, enjoying a cup of coffee and conversation; waking up in a warm bed with our arms around each other; cuddling together on the sofa under a warm blanket on a cold, snowy day; starting out with my head on your shoulder and your arms around me as we watched a movie, but not seeing the end of the movie because we were making love._

_We both know that no marriage is perfect and we've had our disagreements. But because of our love and respect for each other, we worked through our differences. With each problem that came up, we talked it out and became more committed to our marriage and each other. I see our friends whose marriages have fallen apart for one reason or another, and I am so grateful that we are even more in love with each other now than the day we were married._

_When we found out I have cancer, I saw the scared look on your face. It scares me too. I had hoped that I could beat this disease._

_I am not ready to leave you yet. One lifetime is not enough for me to love you for as long as I would like to have loved you. We had eight years as friends and over thirty as husband and wife. Ours is a love that doesn't come along very often and I cannot put into words what you mean to me. You are my life, Jack._

_I won't tell you not to mourn when I die because I know you will, as would I if the circumstances were reversed. But you have Grace, Jim, Jake, Melanie, Kristine, Patrick, Sammie and Jon to love you._

_Please take care of Daniel and let Daniel take care of you. You have such an amazing friendship and you will both need each other._

_I know it will take time to adjust to my not being here, but I want you to make your life as happy as you can. You still have so much love to give._

_I don't know how to end this letter. Just remember that you were, are and always will be the only man that I ever truly loved._

_Forever and always._

_Your Sam_

Jack wiped his eyes and scanned the letter once more. He put it back in the envelope and rubbed his thumbs back and forth over it. He sat there staring at the headstone and thought about everything that Sam had written.

He remembered when they had been at the cabin and he had come into their bedroom to find Sam crying. He promised her that he would try to go on with his life, simply because she had asked him to. She was right, it wouldn't be easy, but it was a promise that he would keep.

THE END


End file.
